Cologne, 2004-03-27

For ages and as long as we have kept records and as long as history has been handed down mouth to ear from the past, mankind has sought an answer to the most fundamental question of all; The Meaning of Life. A longing for purpose, deep at the core of every human being.

Many of the most brilliant philosophers have pondered this question and offered their insights; every religion offers at least one answer. No answer can hold if questioned and picked apart; reason always finds a but or why, can always go a level higher in the spiral, and there will never be an end, only the asking of another question.

The problem which most of these greatest minds have failed to admit is that this question is ultimately beyond reason. Even Descartes seems not to have admitted this failure; he devised a provisional morale, deferring the complete answer for someone else to find. Or did he realize his real problem? I cannot know, just speculate. If asked if anyone really understood the full consequences, my mind turns to Blaise Pascal, who sought refuge in religion so fiercely he condemned every other.

The meaning of life is beyond reason because we are caught inside the system itself; we can never know the full answer, nor could we prove it from the inside even if we did; the answer, if there is any, transcends the system in which the question is asked. This is Gödel's law at the most all-encompassing level. Rationality can only prove that it is futile in this matter.

Religions offer beliefs they claim to be answers. None of these answers can stand up to critical reason. The attempt to deduce a meaning for our lifes from the existance of God falters because the very question whether or not God exists falls prey to the same trap; not even to speak of the guesswork at his expectations. Whether or not God exists transcends anything which we can know.

The attempts to give meaning to our lifes in fact find little support in reason or science. Does it matter to anyone whether you get up in the morning? What does a single life mean to a country? What does the fall of a country matter in the course of time? Even the existence of mankind itself matters little to this world; dinosaurs have died out and been replaced, and one day, mankind will be just as gone.

Even religions ultimately have to admit this; one of the most succinct writings you can find in the bible, Ecclesiates 1:2 - Futile! Futile! laments the Teacher, Absolutely futile! Everything is futile!

And as Montaigne so elaborately discussed, death can strike us at any moment, in the most strangest and unexpected form. And it does not matter; time will wipe out the memory, and even if you are remembered for years to come, it will be futile.

All your love is futile. Gone tomorrow, in ten years or at death; it is all in vain. So is friendship, to which time pays not tribute. Loneliness, solitude or connectedness - it is all in vain. Material worth does not fare better; preposterous, and nothing is ever yours to keep.

Science has given us the astronomical perspective in which even the existence of our whole planet does not matter and can be gone from the stage in the blink of an eye, and without any chance to influence this. There is little refuge in the knowledge that even reason, science and knowledge themselves are just as absurd.

It does not matter whether you take your life or go on living. Whatever you do or do not - it is doomed to futility.

Look not to the arts for help; if there is one motive more common than lost love, it is this very longing for beauty, for purpose, for higher meaning. Artists have felt the abyss forever and written dark and beautiful lyrics in vain, or created yearning poems, paintings or plays to fill the gap. At best, a drug, imaginative distraction, exposed to all these short-comings.

Look into this abyss and ponder it well, for it is what reason must lead you to. No belief can hold under this scrutiny; to reason, a belief is at best an unjustified claim and fundamentally, just another lie.

Futility is the only truth reason can give you.

But so it does not matter whether you reject or chose to believe a lie.

Whatever lie you chose or not; it does not matter, and can never be justified. So chose all the more carefully; you are completely free in your decision. This is the brutal free will you have asked for.

If you chose not to believe, if you cannot, because reason is too strong within you; go on seeking the answer. You may discard this text as mindless ramblings; believe in truth, either from religion, spirituality or reason. Whatever path you chose, it is in vain.

You may chose to believe you live to support your purpose; realize the vanity. You need the purpose to live; your pyramid stands on it's tip. Life does not need you.

Be humble, for all your achievements are in vain. Chose to be strong and successful and to enjoy life, for there is no gain in sufferance. Take pride in whatever you do, for the world does not care if you do not.

Suffer not; for suffering is futile. Despair not from failure, for it does not matter, and is futile. Do not mourn losses; for they are void. Fear not; for whatever happens to you happens without cause or meaning, whether you fear it or not. Seek refuge in resignation. And if you suffer, mourn and fear, be grateful for being able to feel and let it pass through you unharmed, for nothing will remain.

You may chose to suffer, to make yourself even smaller than the universe has made you, to not enjoy life and to despair; but realize this is futile and vanity as well. Chose.

You get to chose to be mean or kind. But be kind to your fellow beings; for they share the same meaningless fate, and they, too, carry this burden whether they know it or not. Do not add to it without cause, vain as it may be. Be merciful and show compassion and pity. Help them forget; and do not disturb their beliefs. Force yours on no one, for they are just as unfounded as theirs.

Enjoy the arts and be grateful for every sweet moment of distraction they offer you.

Love with your whole heart, for it is the only filling for this void which can make you forget for a while, and the risk of loss is meaningless. Let there be happiness, lust, enjoyment, sharing whenever you can, for the truth is too unbearable. Care for your friends and be loyal, for they will be gone too soon. Commit completely to love and friendship, even if it only prolongs them for a single second, for not having done so will be in vain.

Strangely, live your lie; but be honest and true, for all petty intrigues and dishonesty just cause even more pain without need.

Finally, forget yourself that your belief is a lie. This is the one lie you must believe to live. Believe that it is the truth; do no longer ask for proof; do not question. Believe in God, if it helps you. Or was your purpose revealed to you in a spiritual moment of trance? Have you found some compelling argument to support your view, and can you see no flaw in it? Must there not be a meaning to life? How could it be different?

Do not look back. Do not read this text again; that it was ever written was void and in vain and futile, not worthy of your attention or memory.

Live.

And should you chose not to - realize it does not matter. This is the only consolation I can offer.